Join: Constructing Distinctive Relationships with Household, Buddies, and Colleagues

Find your own Touchy-feely epiphany!
Full disclosure, I have been an adherent of lessons gained from Stanford Business School’s Interpersonal Dynamics class — widely-known as “Touchy-feely” — since I was privileged enough to take it as a student in the 1990s. And, I have been a big Carole and David fan for almost as many years as a colleague, friend, and co-conspirator in spreading the word on building exceptional relationships.The challenge of capturing for the benefit of a wider audience the experiential learning essence gained from the course or related forums (e.g., Leaders in Tech’s Intensive Programs & Retreats, where Carole is a Co-founder) seemed not just daunting, but near impossible. But after reading CONNECT, it’s abundantly clear that Carole and David have found ways to make accessible to all the core tenets of their life’s work. Though clear presentation of frameworks and guidelines; powerful anecdotes; exemplary, thought-provoking storytelling; and essential exercises that help a reader put into practice what the authors espouse, the magic that has generated relational epiphanies for so many Touchy-feely participants over the years is there for the realizing.Feedback is a gift? Yes, indeed! And so are David Bradford and Carole Robin for sharing their wisdom and insights with all of us in CONNECT. As you already no doubt surmise, I strongly recommend this book for anyone in search of greater interpersonal effectiveness.

In-depth guide to enhancing (most) relationships
Bradford and Robin’s Connect provides readers with a framework to enhance relationships with just about anyone. The book starts with the basics, defining what exactly deepens relationships (making yourself known) and detailing how to start doing so (15% rule). The meat of the book focuses on making the most out of very ordinary relationship matters: engaging others, dealing with emotion, providing feedback, breaking stalemates, and resolving conflict, and channeling these efforts towards richer relationships rather than damaged ones.To make things easier to understand, the authors employ fictional characters with their own unique relational conflicts and walk the reader through the stages of resolution. Acknowledging that situations are not always perfect, however, the book also provides scenarios where the other party is unwilling to engage in a positive interaction and offers ways to deal with such cases.Each chapter ends with an actionable section providing things to try with a select few relationships you want enhanced, which the book asks you to identify from the start. I wasn’t able to make the most out of this, unfortunately.Despite not having the chance to immediately apply learnings at the end of each chapter, my takeaways from Connect have allowed me to reframe my interactions with others (stay on my side of the net) and reap the benefits of more productive interactions. Not everyone will be as receptive as the fictional characters in the book, of course, but most interactions will have room for application.Connect affords readers a piece of the learnings from GSB’s Interpersonal Dynamics course, from which it is based, and offers a change in mindset well worth the time and effort for a read or two (making use of actionable sections the second time around).

Helped me find deeper meaning in my work and be more impactful
I’m the CEO of a fast growing venture backed company ($100M raised) and I was struggling with burnout, feeling lonely and wanting to achieve another level of effectiveness as a leader. Carole’s work was transformative for me. I discovered that being the invincible “super” CEO who had all the answers was holding me back. I learned the immense power of vulnerability and human connection. Thanks to her work, my effectiveness as a CEO has dramatically increased. From the executives I can now recruiting and retain to the way I can now lead the entire company through challenging times, my approach to leadership has been transformed. And on a personal level, I don’t experience the burnout and loneliness that I did before. Obviously still a challenging job that has its days, but on the whole I’m much more happy and fulfilled than I was before. I highly recommend this book to any individual who wants to do real work in there life to become a more effective and less lonely human. But know that its hard work and it doesn’t come overnight.

Relationships are hard, demanding and complex. That is why they are so beautiful and worth investing time on it.This book provides a complete toolkit on how to approach each different kind of relationship to achieve harmony and meaningfulness.Fortunate are those who were able to have Stanford in-person classes with these couple.

Connect is an operator’s manual for human social experience. Everyone can learn to be more effective, fulfilled and helpful to others through this magnificent contribution. Improvement in this domain translates into more accomplishment everywhere. This book is clear, straightforward and impactful. Thank you for bringing it from your landmark course to the benefit of everyone.

“Connect – Building exceptional relationships with family, friends and colleagues” by David Bradford and Carole Robin is an excellent read.It opens a gateway to exploring and maintaining relationships.Few takeaways include:1. 15 per cent rule to move 15% from your comfort zone in the learning zone with another by maybe doing the following:a. Being vulnerable,b. Self-disclosure – who goes first?c. Self-realisation2. Use feedback mechanism effectively to address the behaviour dear and not the intent!3. Let the emotions flow but own it and target effective implementation bya. Getting the other person to take the feedback seriously.b. Sharing all the issuesc. Resolutiond. Repair4. Conditions, where people are more likely to change, are when their resistance to change is lesser than the product of dissatisfaction in seeing the cost of old behaviour, vision to see the benefit of new behaviour and taking the first steps.I recommend this to all who want to improve their relationships with fellow human beings.